Aha!

Today I had my post op appointment. I was nervous but so ready to learn what they had found. We chose to have this procedure done with a OB/GYN because it is covered by my insurance. If we were to have the laparoscopy/ hysteroscopy done with our RE it would have cost us about $5,000. Amazing how an infertility diagnosis changes things! 

So, the verdict is in. It turns out that I do have endometriosis (stage II). Big shocker! (not). It was hinted as a possible diagnosis for so long that to have it confirmed, seemed like a big relief. He ended up removing a lot of endo and adhesions in the pelvic region. He told us that there was endo that he couldn't remove because of the location, but the major areas affecting the reproductive organs were taken care of. He also recommended a 4-6 month treatment of Lupron or Danazol (which I've never heard of before). Apparently they both have the same purpose but Danazol has less side effects when compared to Lupron. The only advantage is that you take Lupron once and month as an injection and with Danazol you have to take three daily pills. I am pretty sure that with my attention span I will forget a pill or two. So I am undecided on what treatment to choose. If any of you has any feedback regarding these treatments it will be greatly appreciated.

The only thing that made it rain on my parade was the expected waiting time between treatments and the IVF. I know that six months go by super fast, but I wish I wouldn't have to drag this any longer. I am going to make an appointment ASAP with our RE to get his input in all of this. I really trust him, and ultimately his professional opinion is what matters.

I am proud of myself because I took the news better that I would have thought. I am not going to lie... I cried a little bit. I cried outside the office and I cried in the elevator full of people and I also cried in the parking lot. I got mad because the endometriosis wasn't discovered sooner. I got mad because I started thinking that the miscarriages could have been prevented. That all the pain and sadness of the last year could have been avoided. But in the end there is no use to wallow on the "could have been". I should know since I am an expert wallower.

The only option now is to focus on the future. Yes, the past year has been less than stellar, but we owe it to ourselves to be happy. We owe it to ourselves to take a deep breath, step back and look at how far we've come. Knowing that I have endometriosis has given me confidence to know that, although I may have some problems in the reproductive area, not everything is lost. It has empowered me to keep on fighting and searching for answers. We still have hope and faith, we still have a chance, no matter how slim. No matter how hard we have to try, the wheels are set in motion and there is nothing stopping us.