What dream$ are made of...

If you have undergone any kind of fertility treatments you should know by now the financial aspect that comes with it. The truth is that unfortunately most insurance companies don't cover these procedures, so people who are battling infertility are left paying out of pocket for almost everything.

When we first started treatments, our doctor wanted to see how I responded to the least invasive procedures first. Least invasive meant cheaper, so we were fine with that. These "least invasive" treatments didn't yield the expected results, so we moved on to injectables and IUI's. The prices rapidly started going up.

It's odd when you start this roller coaster. It's like you can't stop. Once you are in it, you are in for good. You keep telling yourself  "one more time", with the hopes of it working out, while your bank account and patience deflates.

Last year we spent close to $10,000 in medical procedures, pills, shots, sonograms, tests.... you name it. To us this was a lot financially speaking. We had the support of our family, but it was still hard. Some lovely nurse helped too, donating left over medicine from other patients. But seeing all that money disappearing so fast, often left me out of breath. It's in those moments when you realize how much you really want to be a parent... how much this means to you and how far you are willing to go. 

In our fertility clinic, the area where you pay is flanked by countless baby pictures, smiling couples holding their bundles of joy and letters of gratitude from the happy parents. So, while you are swiping your card, a cute little baby photo is staring directly at you, as if giving you one last hope. It cheers you on. "Your baby's photo can be in here too" it says, so you do it, without hesitation, hoping to be adding your obnoxiously smiling photo to the list. It’s all about "the dream", right?

Right now we are on a break, mostly because of financial reasons. And that drives me mad. If I had the money you bet I would be cycling yesterday. But we are faced with more tests and more procedures, just to find out if I have something else going on. The doctors highly suspect I have endometriosis, but the diagnosis can only be made trough hystero laparoscopy, which costs close to $4,000. There's also a long list of blood tests which are pretty pricey. I can't go through another IUI or IVF (which at this point is what we are leaning towards) until I have these tests performed. So more waiting and more saving for us.

 

When you stare at the facts, it's all about money. Your dreams of becoming a parent, dangle by the thread of cold hard cash. 

Is it fair? no. I believe that fertility procedures should be covered by insurance companies. As simple as that. I know that our health system is pretty fucked up. It's not at all about the health and happiness of the people but about greed and money. It's simply a business and we get caught in the middle. We are way behind... way behind.

In theory, healthy people make happy people, and happy people make a healthy and productive society. But when said people are going into debt, just to cover medical expenses, it's utterly ridiculous.

In terms of fertility treatments, some believe that if you can't afford to pay for the procedures, then you simply shouldn't have a baby. Or that fertility problems are not medical problems, therefore no insurance coverage for you. Oh, really? How considerate of you fertile asshole, thanks! You see, most fertility problems are caused by underlying medical conditions or disorders. So, how can you tell me it is not related? How can you separate two things that are so intricately connected?

I bet that most of those who've had kids without fertility treatments, would be shocked if someone said to them that in order to keep their child they should come up with $10,000 on the spot. Most wouldn't have that kind of money tucked away to spend on a seconds notice. And that it's not a reflection on their right to be parents.

It's not as simple as being able to be financially responsible for a baby. It's about the kind of money you have to spend just to be able to play the game. If we were to conceive naturally right now (yeah right!) we wouldn't have much problem taking care of the baby, because it's a gradual thing. We would be able to adjust and save. Sigh! 

The truth is we don't care, though. That's why we started this in the first place, right? If it's gives us the opportunity of having a baby, all will be put aside. I believe most people facing this journey feel the same. We would still spend all the money they tell us too, we would go into debt, apply for loans, whatever it took, because it is our dream. We won't give up.

Some dreams have a price tag, but for us achieving this dream is priceless. I may bitch and rant about it, but when the moment of truth comes again, you bet I will be there swiping that card like there's no tomorrow. I will swipe that card until it's on fire. I will stare at that wall full of smiley pictures and show them how it's done. Our picture will be up there damn it.