PC- Oh fuck my life-S

That's how PCOS makes me feel every time I think about it.

PCOS affects millions of women across the world but the symptoms of this endocrine disorder manifest differently in each one of us. For me it's the following:

• Super irregular periods. I can go like three or four months without them. No ovulation= no baby
• Some lovely dark hair in my face. I pluck them away at the very sign of their presence.
• Pearl string appearance in ovaries when checked by ultrasound. Pearls... sounds fancy, no?
• Painful sex. Yes, sometimes when I have sex my ovaries feel like they are going to explode. And not with happiness or ecstasy. 
• Infertility. Enough said.
• Miscarriages 
• High cholesterol, although having a fairly healthy diet and lifestyle.
• High thyroid levels. Which are a "no-no when trying to conceive", says my RE.
• Mood swings, depression and anxiety.
• Hypoglycemia. Since forever. 

I think that sums up some of the things I have experienced thus far with PCOS. It has not only affected me in my tying to conceive journey, it has affected my quality of life also.

When I was doing treatments with my RE he did the fasting glucose level test and it came back normal, so he didn't prescribe me Metformin. After doing some research I discovered some articles that stated that Metformin has been proven helpful in non- IR women with PCOS. I was livid that he didn't recommend it. On my next cycle, after some bugging from my part he finally prescribed it. It was the only time in all my cycles that I produced more than two mature follicles. Coincidence? I don't know.

I have been taking Metformin on and off for a while now, because the side effects were pretty nasty. I started again recently, increasing my doses very slowly. So far my energy level is up, I feel more clear minded and relaxed. So we'll see how that goes.

It's pretty frustrating when you are diagnosed with this disorder. If you are even that lucky, because there are some women who are never diagnosed. With my first OB he just brushed it off, gave me contraceptive pills and called it a day. It was when I changed doctors that the word PCOS came into play. Even then, my new OB had no idea what to do, apart from the damn pill.

That just goes to show you how challenging having and managing this disorder can be. I'm in a process of finding a good endocrinologist who has experience in dealing with PCOS so that I can have a better support system. I already know the basics: eat healthy, low carb, exercise, etc. But I feel that there is more that I can do, that there is more to this and not knowing drives me crazy. I can't and won't accept to have a lower quality of life because of this. I want to be able to deal with this in a balanced way, no extremes, no going overboard. Is that too much to ask?

I'll keep searching, fighting, researching and questioning doctors. What else there is to do? Being static is not an option.