Your own advocate

I have never been shy. Lets just get that out of the away. I've always been outspoken and proactive in my day to day life. If I saw something I didn't like you bet I was going to be the first one to do or say something about it. Then I was diagnosed with infertility and that changed. My usual firecracker personality was overshadowed by a blanket of doubt and uncertainty. 

I was intimidated by the process. It all seemed so complicated, too complex, too exhausting. The first couple of months I went to the appointments, listened to what the doctors had to say, nodded and went on my way with a little bag full of goodies (read progesterone suppositories and shots) and a lot of questions still unanswered. I guess there are different types of doctors, the ones that like to communicate and those who don't. I was stuck with the second one. I knew what my diagnosis was, but aside from that I wasn't very outspoken in the process. I felt I wasn't supposed to question or contradict a doctor. I assumed we were in good hands and I left it at that.

As time went on I realized this wasn't a good approach at all. After my first miscarriage that old firecracker spark started coming back. I wanted to know why, the more I knew the better. I know that sometimes consulting Dr. Google can be a little bit tricky but where else could I go? I needed to feel that I was doing something, that I was being an active part of the process, not just a quiet patient. The doctor didn't seemed concerned at first. I guess they see so many cases on a day to day basis, that for them is a normal thing. But for the person that's going trough it, it's heart wrenching and life changing. Then the second miscarriage happened and I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't going  down like that. If we were to continue treatments I was going to do it differently. I became an advocate for myself.

After taking some time away I came back full force. I demanded to have the Laparoscopy and Hysteroscopy. And guess what? They found endometriosis. I demanded to have the Repeated Loss Panel and guess what? It turns out I came back positive for Lupus Anticoagulant, which can certainly cause miscarriages and complications in pregnancy.

Aha! After all the back and forth we had some answers... answers we wouldn't have if I didn't push for the tests.

Now I feel more confident in challenging doctors opinions, because many times they can be too laissez faire. I can't sit idle anymore while my life passes me by. I am in charge. We are in charge. After all we are the ones paying crazy amounts of money, we are the ones being poked and prodded, we are the ones with our dreams and hopes on the line.

So be your own advocate. There is nothing to loose!